


Only The Good

by susiebstuff



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boy King of Hell Sam Winchester, Dark Sam Winchester, Demon Blood Addict Sam Winchester, Gen, POV Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester's Demonic Powers, Soulless Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25340257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susiebstuff/pseuds/susiebstuff
Summary: Sam Winchester prays.  Until the day he stops praying.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Only The Good

Sam Winchester prayed every day. He prayed for guidance. He prayed for his family. He prayed for the people he loved. He prayed for the people he lost. He prayed for help to get through another day.

The content of Sam’s prayers changed after he learned he had been forcibly fed demon blood. He continued to pray for help and guidance. But mostly he prayed that he would not go dark side and become a monster. He wanted to be good.

When Sam learned that angels were real, his prayers became more frequent and more fervent. Even though most angels were dicks, their very existence confirmed Sam’s belief in a God who might hear his prayers.

Sam continued to pray. Even while drinking demon blood, he prayed that he was doing the right thing by using the power to destroy demons and save people. He would never use the power for anything else. He would never try to develop any additional powers. He prayed that he was not evil.

When the apocalypse loomed, Sam prayed he could undo what he had caused. Even as he jumped into the pit, he prayed. Sam prayed for the possibility of redemption. He prayed for salvation.

After being reunited with his soul, Sam prayed for forgiveness for the things he had done. He swore he had no desire for demon blood or power. He prayed that he would never again be tempted by evil.

While innocent people died as Sam did what he had to do to save his brother, Sam prayed for forgiveness and understanding. Even after God left, Sam continued to pray for the strength to do good and to be good.

But now that God had returned and revealed he had orchestrated everything, Sam stopped praying. He was angry. And in his anger, he allowed himself to feel resentment and regret. He regretted not doing all the things he could have done. He resented holding himself back from becoming all he was meant to be. He had enjoyed being strong and powerful. And he wanted to tap into that strength again. 

Sam knew he would not need any demon blood this time. He just had to want it. And he did want it. To hell with whether this was part of God’s script or not, he wanted the power back. There would be no redemption for him.

Sam admitted that the biggest lie he ever told was the one he had told himself. He accepted that he was a monster. And his eyes flashed red.

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble was written for a tumblr challenge "Lie To Me In Melody". The prompt was lyrics from Billy Joel's "Only The Good Die Young". This was my first attempt at writing anything remotely dark and I struggled with it. Comments would be appreciated.


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